Summary

  • Favor empathy over ego: listen, avoid criticism, praise specifically, align interests.
  • Tell it like a story (status quo → conflict → action → outcome).
  • Use STAR for proofs, audience map for clarity, and pitch = outcome first.

Core influence (Carnegie → field rules)

  1. Genuine interest in others.
  2. No criticism/condemnation/complaints; seek to understand.
  3. Honest, frequent praise of real effort.
  4. Arouse desire: link your goal to their interests.

Story spine (for talks & answers)

  • Protagonist → Status quo → Antagonist/obstacle → Attempts → Outcome → What changed.
    Use as an outline for slides or a 90-sec answer.

Scenario method (by example)

Before proposing, sketch 3 tiny scenarios:

  • Situation: context in one line.
  • Choice: what the user (or team) must decide.
  • Result: measurable impact.
    Pick one to tell as your story.

STAR template (evidence)


S — Situation: <where/when + constraints>  
T — Task:  
A — Action: <what you did, methods/tools>  
R — Result: <metric, %/time/$, lesson learned>

Tip: flip a past “negative” into a lesson → positive capability in R.

Pitch = outcome first

  • Audience → Problem → Unique solution → Proof → CTA.
    Speak to what they get (final state), not the features.
    Use GPT to iterate scripts, but keep your voice.

Audience empathy map (for clarity)

  • Know (shared facts), Think (beliefs), Feel (pains/fears), Need to know (minimum to act).
    Aim one message per quadrant → one slide each.

Conflict playbook

  • Start with shared goal/result.
  • Ask: What did you expect? What was the intention?
  • Replace blame with we: “both contributed; let’s co-design the fix.”
  • Capture You/They × Said/Did grid to separate facts from stories.

Personal actions

  • Build a persona board (director / influencer / thinker / relator) to adapt tone.
  • Keep a wins vault of STAR mini-cases (3–5 lines each).
  • Rehearse with a timer; prefer short, vivid words.